Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Sabrina's Grief

I never knew this is how it feels losing someone I never had.
Do I have the right to cry, when the chance to be a father's daughter was withheld from me?
Do I have the right to grieve, when his name is all that's in my memory?
I lived my life with him being someone I'm always without.
But I have forgiven even though I never heard an apology.
I don't know why, he already left me once, and now he left me forever.
All of a sudden I feel empty. 

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Until I See You

The sun rises. The wind blows. Shadows move. Leaves fall. Moments happen. Time passes by... so fast and yet so slow. I see many days without you... beautiful yet ordinary apart your smile.
Summer remains cold and this is why. So this heart waits dearly and still. Until I see you there... in front of my eyes. 🍃🍂⛅🕐💜

Friday, January 8, 2016

Be Loving or Be Nothing?

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'Jump,' and it jumps, but I don't love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love." (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 MSG)

I always jump to the "love is patient, love is kind..." part whenever I turn to 1 Corinthians 13. I must admit these were the verses I used to overlook before. Until something happened last year which has led me to these words... and I find them beautiful and so much on point. That was the time when I was hurt by people who are close to me with serious and below-the-belt offense.

Many times I asked, "of all the people, why them?" With the betrayal and stabs in my back, I didn't want to see them. I felt so wounded, I didn't want to talk to them. It cut deep. Questions ran through my mind about the things they did which I find hard to accept and understand, and though I tried not to pay back nor treat them bad whenever they were around, bitterness and resentment were already creeping in. I almost condemned them in my thoughts saying to myself, "Didn't the Word told us to do this and not that?" That's when God gave me those verses. I came to realize that I was also doing them the same because I allowed the negative emotions to enter and rule my heart instead of love. Thank God, He is always on the lookout to rescue me from sinning.

When we're hurt it's too easy to justify our thoughts and feelings with our knowledge of the Word that we forget God's greatest commandment is LOVE.

My painful experience has taught me so much which serve as a reminder for me until now. I'm learning how to forgive, even if my offenders do not ask for forgiveness. I'm learning how to understand and still believe the good in other people, even though they do me wrong. I'm learning to set aside my proofs of being right— if proving myself right means winning in an unloving way. For what is my faith and everything good I gained if I'm not loving? Nothing.

Are we loving enough?

Loving others is never an easy thing, but at least, doing so sets us free. And we can be free to love them genuinely... seeing past their mistakes because after all, that's how the Lord is to us.
No matter what ugly and hurtful thing the world brings, God called us to love. So, our response to anything life throws us should always be to love. No amount of pain nor gain can change the fact that since God loves us, we ought to love others as well.

We might find ourselves failing in that area as we try. But if we connect our hearts to God, who Himself is Love, there is nothing too hard for us to do. He is the one who will guide us and help us if we are willing to seek Him and obey His instructions. He is the perfect model of genuine and unconditional love. Other sources are just frail and finite imitations, therefore, we must look to Him if we want to be loving.

How do we prepare ourselves to love others? We must love ourselves the way God loves us as we cannot do something for others what we are unable to do for ourselves. Then, ask God to give us the strength to demonstrate the same kind of love towards the people around us— no matter how unlovable they are.  Pray that He grant us the desire to have a heart like His... giving others love more than anything.

For what would we rather choose? To be loving or be completely nothing?

Thursday, January 7, 2016

The Place of Glorious Freedom

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Corinthians 3:17 ESV)
God's presence offers freedom. It is a place where we can enjoy His grace, mercy, justice, love, and all that He is. He is in the business of breaking the chains— of sins, hurts, doubts, selfishness, guilt, unforgivingness, bitterness, anger, insecurities, and fear, to name a few—, that hinder us from living the free life which He has planned. All it takes is for us to believe and live within that freedom which the Lord is eager to give us. But oftentimes, we are distrustful and unbelieving.

I remember how passionate God was to save the Israelites from slavery in Egypt and take them to the promised land as it is written in the Old Testament. However, the stubborn, impatient, and ungrateful attitude of these people always put them to wanting to go back into the hands of Pharaoh whenever they face uncomfortable situations on their journey— as if life as his slaves is better than life under God's power, provision, and protection. Seems familiar, right? They are so much like us.

We always tend to go back to the place God has already delivered us from.

There was a certain area of my life which the Lord has already set free, but I was always looking back to my past situation. To tell you honestly, the hurts and pains I lived in for years seemed to be my comfort zone and my heart was so used to it that I oftentimes yearn to go back... despite the fact that I know joy and peace awaits me on the other side. There were moments I missed the feeling of brokenness or the sighs and weepings— even worse, the distress. I forgot that God took me out of that pathetic situation because I wasn't meant for it.

I was distracted and had a hard time worshiping God with all that I am. It blocked the blessing of growing deeper in faith and in the knowledge of Christ because I was not willing to surrender everything completely to Him. Another thing is that I hold out on the chance for others to be free as well. Yep. I realized that people who are unfree also imprison others to themselves. Thankfully, He didn't leave me until I go back to my senses and remember that nothing compares to what He has in store for me if I just wholeheartedly let Him lead me away from the bondage I was in.

Are we living the true freedom in Christ?

When getting that freedom means stepping out of our comfort zones and letting go of things and people we held onto for so long, we tend to hold back. Perhaps, because we don't know what the process will bring and  how much we are required to give up. It scares us to choose what He has to offer. But can there be any better place than where the Lord's Spirit is? The place of abundant freedom... to run, to dance, to sing, to laugh, to serve, to love, to live, to breathe, to dream, to fly. It's such a glorious place. No matter what comes our way, still there is nothing more beautiful than the life within God's presence, promise, and will.

How do we enter that place? It's time we get down on our knees and ask God to come break the chains that rob us of the life He meant to give and grant us the desire to live in His glorious freedom.
And may the Lord give us the heart to share that freedom to the world around us.